Right In Front Of My Eyes

On several fronts, I'm feeling reminded of the basics - and just how important those basics are. I've called them "the stuff of life" in posts before... good relationships with family and friends, good food, making it in my kitchen, growing plants for both food and beauty, enjoying peaceful moments, taking care of myself and those I love... all that stuff.

Last week, Mark told me he felt inspired by the list I have posted above my desk: Daily Goals. It was that list I made instead of any big New Year's resolutions, with five small things that I wish to become regular habits - and which will enhance my life. When he said that, I realized I hadn't looked at that list in ages... it's become part of the regular landscape of my wall. So today I sat and read it again. Really read it.

Daily Goals - 2009
1) See most of the daylight available each day.
2) Watch TV deliberately.
3) Get on the mat.
4) Include produce in every meal.
5) Talk to someone I care about deeply.

I made the list with hopes that each day I would strive for all five, and the belief that within a month or two I could achieve all five goals every day. Now past the halfway point of 2009, I'm not sure I've had a day yet where I met all five. Although, not really paying attention, I wouldn't know. It's sad to me that I'm still so full of talk and ideas, and so lacking in willpower and the ability to follow through, even when it comes to things so small and simple. Yet I also feel refreshed in the hope that I can strive for these little - though significant - goals. And I noticed that there are a couple items I am doing regularly, without thinking much about them. I'm glad Mark noticed my little list on the wall, because it made me notice it again.

Over the holiday weekend I got to experience something else that had been missing for awhile - sunshine! It was beautiful... warm but not too hot, breezy, sunny... actual summer. With all the rain, the summer days I thought of - and dreaded - were the unbearably hot and humid days... but I was reminded just how lovely and temperate New England summer can be. Kevin and I spent an extra day in Holyoke, lazily soaking up the peaceful feeling, doing not much of anything and loving it. Even the party on Saturday was a reminder of what real life is about - enjoying good company, soaking up beautiful weather, eating delicious food (yay for veggie burgers and my cranberry-pecan bread!), and having fun.

Yesterday, Kathryn and I were talking about the effect of unemployment on our psyches and our desires for our futures. It's funny how something so seemingly straightforward as losing a job can shift the entire landscape of a life - but it seems to be a common experience lately. Kathryn and a friend are planning a blog on the topic of reviving "domestic" life - cooking, gardening, sewing, knitting, caring for family, etc. I find it interesting just how many blogs, websites, articles, news stories and such are coming out latley, with people discovering just that. How did our culture get so wrapped up in some odd definition of "professional success" that we put our real lives on the back burner? Or, as Kathryn asked it, "Is there a reason why crunching numbers or answering phones have become more respectable careers than maintaining the health, happiness and general wellness of our friends and families?"

The part that awes me most about it is that Kathryn and I used to talk about how we could never be the stay-at-home-mom and housewife. Now, even without children - and for me without being a wife or having a house - we're both craving that life, and coming to understand the fulfillment that comes with dedicating time and energy to life. To real life. Not to earning money, not to achieving some artificial standard of excellence in some industry, not to being seen by others as successful... but to the things that are so basically enjoyable, so intrinsically meaningful and instinctually right that we often overlook them.

I have no illusion that I will be able to live well without working. But this year of unemployment has taught me that what I do to earn a living... that is not my life, it is done to pay for my real life. Maybe someday I'll find something that feels like an important part of me, and part of my life, a passion with real meaning that will earn me some money as well. In the meantime, I will keep taking in these reminders that my energy is best spent on the simplest things that make up real life, and try to make my shift in perception a shift in action.