Finally...a post.

It's just not the happiest post ever.

Don't worry...tragedy has not befallen me. Rather, it's just been a busy and emotional couple weeks.

I was at the cabin from Friday the 12th until last Wednesday, the 17th. When I'm there it's a challenge to post simply because I have to type the whole thing on the Crackberry. Of course, while I was up north, the scroll button on my Berry stopped scrolling in the down direction so there wasn't a lot I could do until I got back home anyway.

Wednesday afternoon/evening and Thursday were a blur. I didn't do much of anything. I was low on money at the time and was waiting for my Friday unemployment deposit. I spent Friday afternoon with my friend Rachel--a great mood booster. Of course I spent too much money on lunch, drinks and dinner but it was well worth it.

Yesterday I went to St. Cloud to watch my cousin Stephanie's final summer volleyball tournament. It's a two-day tourney so I stayed overnight in my aunt Michelle's hotel room (the chaperone room). The girls didn't play the greatest ever but it's always fun to watch. And I love seeing my cousin and spending time with her and Michelle.

I got home around 2:30 today with every intention of taking a nap. Except...I was too worked up. I've reached the end of the proverbial rope when it comes to the job and money situation. Basically, I need both and the prospects look slim. Throw in some car work that I can't afford and I've reached "freak out" levels of stress.
Thankfully the car work isn't serious; brakes and rotors and standard stuff that I was hoping to avoid this year because I bought a new car but we all know that never happened. Still, I'm looking at least a $300 bill.

So, I did the only logical thing. Well, the second logical thing. First, I worked out. It's the first time in a while and I rocked the hizzy. I did a 20 minute run/walk in some nice, cooling drizzle. Then I did 20 minutes of kickboxing. THEN I did 40 minutes of ballet. I only meant to do 20 but I love doing it. It makes me feel graceful and lithe and like I could be a dancer despite my flat feet. In reality, it's great for my muscles (esp my calves and shins thanks to the plies) and it does help posture.

The second logical thing I did was call the 'rents. They've always said they'd help if I needed it and, clearly, I do. Although the prospect of asking for and borrowing money makes me unhappy, a girl's gotta do what she must, right? My parents, in their infinite wisdom, came up with an alternate solution to a loan. Labor! No joke. They've got a ton of cleaning and other projects they need done and are willing to trade for car repair. Not the greatest thing ever...hard labor isn't my fav...but it's the best choice I've got right now.

In other news, I've reached the sad conclusion that I'm going to have to get a filler job. You know, something totally lame that will pay the bills. I'm opposed to it because I don't want something crappy and irrelevant on my resume but, again, a girl's gotta do, right?

Don't get me wrong...I HATE HATE HATE that I have to do this. In addition to not wanting crap on my resume, I don't want to dread going to work everyday, knowing it's merely because I need the money. I don't want to be THAT PERSON. I want a real job that I like and can be good at...a career, really, and it seems I can't. It's unfair and stupid and not right and unfair. So, in the process of reaching this solution I went to the "bad place"...the place where I think about my dismal situation and got sad/angry/disappointed/stressed and all those other fun feelings. Throw in the car stuff and I am...was...a wreck.

Anyway, the workout, the parents...a hot bath and a yummy wine cooler...I feel better. And I have a pork chop in the oven. I know, dinner at 10? So what. It's been that kind of day.

k.