Sunday Beat Me. Monday Will Not.

Since last post, a distinct pattern has held true. When I am convinced to get up, get dressed, leave my house and be with other people, I feel good and have fun. When I am alone, I stay home in pajamas, do nothing (even what I need/want to do) and basically don't feel.

Yesterday was a particular waste. Too much sleep. Too much TV (including while asleep). Hell, I even spent last night through this morning on the couch... Stupid. And when I actually managed to process what I was doing - even for a fleeting second - I felt stupid about it. And then stopped thinking/feeling again, continuing to do nothing.

Today, I don't want to do that anymore. It took me awhile... a long while... to get my ass up and moving. But I went and got coffee and breakfast (since I have nothing of the sort in my kitchen at the moment. argh). I did some KenKen puzzles while I ate. I started a load of laundry. I did the dishes. I'm posting here.

Upcoming activities for the day:
- phone call to health insurance company (didn't send me a bill this month)
- phone call to doc
- phone call to GMAC (to *finally* send in the final payment for my car, which I've been putting off)
- more laundry (everything I own *will* be clean by the end of the day)
- clean up the pathetic high-school style disaster that is my bedroom
- vaccuum the apt
- put all clothes away
- sort papers on desk
- visit Trader Joe's to buy essentials for *making* food

Basically, today is for personal life phone calls and getting my physical space organized and feeling good. When I finish, I plan to sit and enjoy my space, perhaps reading one of my several library books. I may or may not feel like working out later... and that is fine. Today is for getting my physical environment back to a place where it feels organized and comfortable.

I decided I will not even attempt to do any job search stuff today. That is tomorrow's task. And tomorrow's only task. Although I do hope to work out tomorrow. That would make a nice break from computer and phone time.

Later in the week I will get supplies for and assemble my porch garden. Hopefully doing so with Kathryn's help.

I have other hopes for the week... but figure I'll let myself think about them when I get today's stuff done. Physical surroundings and then mental tasks.

OK, go.