Why Do I Do Things That Make No Sense?

It's a second beautiful day in a row. I know that rain is coming tonight, and that this is the warmest it will be for a week. Yet it's 3pm and I'm still inside, still in my pajamas. I didn't even go to sleep until like 6:30am... woke up about 1pm. What is my deal? I love when it's nice out... I crave it and can't wait for these days to come... and the last handful of beautiful days, I've spent indoors, either sleeping or watching tv. Sure, I open the windows... but come on. What the hell is my problem? Why can't/don't (not sure which it is) I get up, get dressed, and go outside?! Argh. This is where I really struggle with myself... I mean, honestly. I'm not an idiot, and I generally try to be a rational, reasonable person. So why would I deny myself something that is not only pleasurable, but healthy?

I'm hoping that by writing this, I will push myself over the edge and just get off my ass.

Small bright spots in the last couple days: I have been doing my pilates dvds, and some yoga. And I did buy yummy and healthy salad stuff, fruits, and only "healthy" packaged frozen foods (Lean Cuisines, Smart Ones, etc.) Granted, I question the healthfulness of those almost every time I open one... I mean, low-cal and low-fat does not actually mean healthy.... it just means less unhealthy than other options. But still. Until I get myself making food from scratch more regularly (and let's face it, my lazy side is not always a fan of that) these aren't a terrible option, I suppose. And even the desserts and snacks I currently have in the house are all reasonably pre-portioned, low-cal, and easy.

News tidbits: my cousin Jimmy is coming to visit next week, for a few days. It'll be fun to see him and have some reason to get out and about. And my dear friend KZ just got laid off... which means I might actually get to see her soon! Heh. The girl needed a break... and wasn't entirely happy with her job... so it's kind of a blessing for her right now. And since there aren't going to be any good job prospects in her field anytime soon (interior design), she can kind of just take a break for awhile and focus on finishing her degree and taking care of her garden. The flip side of that, I'm counting down to the end of unemployment eligibility, and hoping that my efforts get me somewhere. This weekend, I'm probably even applying for a part-time job (WTF?!) because it's at an organization I like and would enjoy a future with.

Alright... off to do something. I hope.