Well it's just after 3:30 here and I haven't showered yet either but I probably won't before going to the gym later.
I slept in way too long but I managed to make myself get up around 1:30 and do...stuff. Wash face, brush teeth, put in contacts, get dressed (out of the pjs anyway). I did the dishes and made coffee. I have been working (for reals!) at the computer ever since. I think it's the music...Michael Bublé and jazz are actually motivating!
I applied for one job. Yay! I also emailed two former colleagues re: the reference issue. I started on this last week when I called one but didn't get to the others until now. I have to pay bills this week...ick. I hate doing that. Reminds me that I'm poor.
Spin class is at 6pm and I'm def going cause it's my fav class of the week. It's the one class I can count on attending even if I don't succeed at getting in anymore workouts this week.
I think I have to stop thinking about the week at large, you know? And just focus on each day. More than that and I think I set myself up to not get done the ambitious list to-do list I've assembled in my mind. I think I need to tell myself it's okay to not consider tomorrow until today is closer to done. I'm sure that sounds incredibly cliché but you know me...I'm a "to-do list" kind of person who is hard on herself if she doesn't get it done. Giving myself permission to NOT do something is like...failure or something. Like today...I clearly did not get up in the morning like I planned. Sure, I got tons of other things accomplished but I have this mental block that makes me think it's still a failure of a day because I didn't get up when I hoped. I have the same problem with the gym. If I intend to go 4 times a week and I miss once then there is no sense in going anymore because I've already failed. So while I can clearly see the error in this logic, I can't seem to correct it! Any advice?
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The thing that's helped me out of the "failure" frame of mind is simple, subtle... but has honestly helped alleviate a lot of the negative self-talk, and keeps each day separate in its potential for success.
ReplyDeleteInstead of having a list of things "To Do", I have a list of "Goals" for the day. And I'm talking a physical, written list, with GOALS at the top. I even include stupid little things that I will probably do anyway, just so I can see myself cross them off as complete - shower, dishes, clean litter box, put a bill in the mail...
By calling them goals, it's not as big a deal if I miss one. Or two. Or the whole freakin' list for that matter. "To Do" implies that it HAS to get done. And let's be realistic - when you're unemployed, there's very little that's actually pressing. Goals is more like, I hope to achieve these things today. And even if I miss most of the list, the things I cross off really do feel like achievements - even if they are stupid and small. I can honestly say I achieved three out of six goals so far today - and that's not a bad ratio! And whatever I miss... well, it can go on tomorrow's list of goals, or I can wait until another suitable day to put it on the list. It's not an obligation, it's a hope.